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Sunday, 9 October 2011

believe healthy

Ingredients To A Healthy Relationship: Knowing Yourself First

Ingredients To A Healthy Relationship: Knowing Yourself First
October 09, 20110 Comments

Have you ever said these awful words “it’s not you, It’s me” when you are ready to end a relationship?  Many persons say these words and not mean it.  A common reason is to “let the person down gently” while trying to escape from a relationship you no longer want.  Another popular reason is to take blame for a relationship's incompatibility—knowing in your heart—you were never meant for each other!  So many of us fall in this latter category where we do not know what we want in a relationship.

I have found that many of my friends get into relationships for the wrong reasons.  At the time, it made perfect sense.  In retrospect, reasons such as:  “I am ready to settle down," and "I’m not getting any younger" are not  healthy starts to any relationship.

If you want to get into a loving, compatible relationship start by knowing yourself first.  Think about it.  If you don’t know what you want, how can you attract the right type for you?  

Consider these 5 helpful self-directed goals that will give you a better perspective of self and the qualities you should want to attract in a mate.

Goal #1:  Believe in yourself
Love yourself. Tell yourself every morning that you are an awesome and talented individual.  Take the time to examine what you enjoy doing and find your passion.  Exude confidence or fake it until it becomes natural.  Be optimistic about life, take challenges head-on, and pursue your dreams.

It takes guts to be yourself, which is why it is an admirable quality that drives people towards that type of personality.

Goal #2:  Be independent
Having the freedom to choose what you want instead of waiting on the decisions of others is a powerful experience to own. When you are skilled, talented, industrious, or financially secure, you can take charge of your destiny.

 Goal #3:  Stand-up for something- your integrity
Stick to your beliefs and principles without compromise.  This makes you truly unique in this world, your cultural background, ethnicity, and family values reflect you. 

Adopt a “take it or leave it” attitude when it comes to demands that question your integrity and self-respect. Stand up for your beliefs and attract the right companion in the process.

Goal #4:  Be fearless
Don’t give in to others because you want to belong. Accept that you are a remarkable individual--enjoy what gives you a thrill in life-- and indulge in your hobbies.  Do what feels right for you. Take bold steps, despite what others may think.  

Goal#5:  Relax, laugh at yourself, and let others see your glow
Life is a series of hurdles, why add more to it by getting anxious each day.  Learn to laugh good and hard at yourself.  Lighten the mood in the atmosphere by remaining cool and calm.  Stay connected to your spiritual side and it will become easier to be at peace.

Before long, you will have others gawking at how amazing you are!

Soon enough, you will find yourself attracting the right people, just by being you.  Although you will never truly know yourself--even when you take your last breath on this earth— you will know what you don’t want.  In a healthy relationship you don’t want someone telling you, you can’t achieve those 5 self-directed goals. Your “special someone” instead, will be cheering you on, all the way!

“At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet”  Plato
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chip off the old block cooking

Eating Habits: Are You A Chip Off The Old Block?

Eating Habits: Are You A Chip Off The Old Block?
October 09, 20110 Comments

Have you ever sat at a family event and was able to guess who belonged to which side of the family based on size and shape? As the saying goes, “you are what you eat.” I believe the saying would be better described as, “you are what you eat from the family pot.”

So much of what we eat is culturally dictated by our family traditions. We are taught from childhood what foods to eat, how to prepare it, and how often to eat.  At family gatherings our eating habits become truly reinforced.  We hear of grandma’s secret mashed potato recipe, grandpa’s renowned tomato sauce, and Auntie’s infamous mac & cheese spread.      

We mindlessly adopt eating patterns, culturally ingrained in our psyche, and we develop a liking for what have been the norm all our lives.  These cultural dishes become a hard habit to break, especially when they are not of the healthier kind.

With the high rise in teenage diabetes, obesity, and overall heart diseases in America, a closer look should be given to the way we are taught to select and prepare our foods. But even now as we progress in a high tech era, so much of the commercial side of eating is introduced into our homes. If you were to ask teenagers what their favorite foods are, you can bet they are not fruits, veggies, and whole grains.  The younger generation has become fast food junkies.

According to the US Department of Health and Human Services, diabetes is the 7th leading cause of death and a major cause of heart disease and stroke in the US.  Ages 20 and below are significantly represented in the figures, which is a troubling thought.   

They say that imitation is the best form of flattery. If imitation takes the form of irresponsible family eating habits and open embrace of greasy fast foods, we have become delirious as a society. Have we dropped-the-ball on our family obligations?

Ethnicities such as East Indians and Asians basic cooking involve herbs, spices, veggies, and grains. When these ethnic groups follow closely to their traditions they actually achieve higher states of wellness. They supersede other ethnicities whose food traditions stray from basic wholesome cooking.

So, are you a chip off the old block? If yes and your food selection falls more into the fried, devitalized food groups, it’s time to change old habits and make anew what is healthy for you and your family. 

“A nation’s culture lies in the hearts and in the soul of its people” Mohandas Gandhi

Source:
http://diabetes.niddk.nih.gov/DM/PUBS/statistics/
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achieve full potential

Mental Well-Being: What Are You Saying Behind Your Back?

Mental Well-Being: What Are You Saying Behind Your Back?
October 09, 20110 Comments

How much of your failures and achievements have come from words used inside your head? All of us engage in a constant internal monologue called self-talk. It is part of how the brain functions. Sometimes we are conscious of the words we use, as we catch ourselves describing what we can and cannot do. At other times we are less able to perceive these thoughts. But, make no mistake our words programmed in our heads from childhood define who we are.

What we say to ourselves can create a wall that stands in our way or provide limitless possibilities to self-fulfillment. All we have to do is choose the right type of self-talk to reach our full potential.

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to always get what they want out of life, while the rest of us stand still, in awe of their accomplishments? The reason is simple, they were fortunate to have the right inner voice programmed in their heads allowing them to go after what they want without fear.

Our brain is a remarkable organ that once programmed with positive energy--in a nurturing environment--will demand of life all that it deserves. The reverse is also true.  If you are constantly told words such as: “you will never amount to anything or you can’t do anything right” you will eventually view the world as a battlefield, cower in fear, and accept mediocrity.

Experts agree that most of us during the first eighteen (18) years of life have been programmed negatively. We have been told what we cannot do approximately 150,000 times.  On the flip side, inspiring words of encouragement were not common. Many persons say they can recall less than 10 times that they were motivated to rise above obstacles and achieve goals.  On average, a typical home is subject to this type of negative mental programming.

Sometimes our cultural upbringing unknowingly contributes to negative lifecycles. I remember as a child growing up, my siblings and I were told one of those golden virtues “children are seen but not heard”—it meant that whenever we had guests in our home, though we may show ourselves--we had to be silent. Silence meant no playing, and we had guests fairly often. Later, I grew to speak respectfully of my elders, but even now as an adult there is an unnatural disquiet and feeling of discomfort in their presence.

So, is it possible to reprogram the brain to achieve positive results? Yes! Our brain is so wondrously made that we can reprogram our monologue but it will take discipline to undo the years of negative self-talk. Dr. Shad Helmstetter, author of the book “What To Say When You Talk To Your Self, said these salient words:

“…They speak their minds, stand their ground, and defend their honor…They are the sort of people who add to the world by living in it…I have tried to figure out what it is that gives them a quality…I can only isolate one thing.  They learned how to talk to themselves.”

Positive self -talk requires a simple but consistent technique. For starters, what you need to do is:
·       Be aware of your self-talk; change the negative tone to a positive one
·    Write down all that you want to achieve; say out loud [while alone] words of affirmation in the present tense.  For example: “I am confident; I am going to speak in front of an audience and not be nervous. “
·         Do all these mental exercises at least 5 – 10 times throughout each day, and more often when faced with difficult challenges

When you make an internal change by transforming your mental program, you create permanent changes. Imagine, relying on yourself to be your own cheerleader to reach your full potential. Redefine who you are, take back control of your thoughts.
  
 ”A man is but the products of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.” Gandhi


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